Staged and Scribbled

I apologise for my contribution to the lonely males, but I have nothing left in me.

After having spent half of my summer going on dates, basically hosting my own talk show where all my guests are men with no questions but a lot of answers and opinions, and the other half of my summer waiting for responses from the men I actually did find cute, going over and over in my head what I might have done wrong and if what I wore was sending the wrong signals.

I am hanging up my boots and leaving that life behind. No more apps, no more blind dates, and no more being misconstrued for asking the basic question of “What do you do?”, no more opening comments about my face, my body or my travel plans (How is everyone travelling all the time? How are you supposed to date when no one is ever in the country?!

I want to go back to the time when you would pick up or be picked up at a bar.

I was the master of picking up men at bars. Find your perfect man. Kind of cute, kind of sexy, hysterically funny, but not a funny-looking guy that you could f**k. Make eye contact, look away, to your friends or your drink or the bartender, and look back at the guy, and if he is still looking, smile at him and let him do the rest. It had at least a 75% success rate that very move, and he will believe that he made the first move, feel confident, and it will make the rest of the courting a lot more pleasant.

But I am thirty-one now; I don’t hang out in bars anymore, and if I do, I feel a lot older than all the people in there.

So what is left? Everyone can get a boyfriend, they say, but should it really be that simple? Dating apps have created a space where some are looking to have fun and some are looking to settle down, and then people can simply go to their corner and find someone they are remotely attracted to and then screw the rest. Let’s link up so we won’t be the only ones lonely at the next wedding. But I love “the rest”, the chemistry, the silliness, and the laughter that comes from being head over heels in love with someone. The chase and the reward.

At the end of the day. Love is great, and being in love is even better. And people have claimed to have found the one on these pesky apps. So I am going to try it out. I have decided to go out into the world and meet men, and I will document it here: field research in the pursuit of happiness.

I will share the locations, events, the vibes, and the activities but obviously not the men personally.

So follow along if you, like me, love love but not the way to it.