To be honest; I have been on no first dates.
I have gone back on my word and done no excursions and only been on the apps still.
I know, I lied. This is just another imperfect, dishonest blog full of flaws, just like I am.
But I would like to reiterate how dire it is on the apps.
I asked a guy about his PhD, and he called me an education snob. I told a guy that I went for a spray tan, and he asked me if I got my boobs sprayed too. Not to mention the dozens of guys asking me about my sexual wants and needs as an icebreaker.
Like keyboard warriors and trolls on different social media platforms, the dating apps have become a place where people feel comfortable sharing and saying stuff to you that no one would ever say to you in a face-to-face encounter, and if they would, honestly, then I want nothing to do with them. But it seems like being on these apps means you constantly have to bend and break your standards and boundaries; otherwise, you’ll never get to know anyone.
I am a firm believer in the fact that everyone is interesting and that we all have a fully lived life that it would be a privilege to get to explore. But why not lead with that then? Why not start out with the best sides of yourself? Everyone hopefully has a good libido with the right person, but off the jump, can’t we just have a drink first?
One guy I matched with, a very attractive guy, his profile quote is “Want some excellent head?” and you know, who doesn’t? But if I now interact with you, is that going to be the only reason? Does he know I think I just want head? Is that the only reason he’s going on a date with me? Because the next step after drink is head?
Maybe I’m a prude; I am definitely a prude. And an overthinker.
But anyway, I’m signing up to Breeze now (not sponsored) because I can’t deal with the chats anymore… I will literally rather pay money than have to chat to one more person.
Keeping on Tinder because of a cute vet and an interesting media guy to see how those dates will pan out. Also keeping Feeld because of the “excellent head” guy, but only because I want to know what happens if you actually go on a date with a guy like that. Research, really.
Then I am going to a creative writing course and a screening, and I will do my absolute best to actually talk to the people at the same events.
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